Quote: Instructions for Life
Life Changing Events
We all experience life-changing events. Sometimes they are things that happen to the world around us, such as 9/11, when President Kennedy was shot, the moon landing, the attack of Pearl Harbor. Other times it’s a much more personal nature. For me, it was four miscarriages, a near-fatal car accident that almost took off my leg and injured my children, and my daughter’s death. This morning another such event impacted my life dramatically, and I’m unsure where it will lead.
This morning at 5 am, my partner, my husband of 42 years, died. We knew his illness was terminal, but the doctor’s prognosis was two years, and it had only been three months. He had been transported to the hospital by paramedics; this was not the first time, but now it will be the last.
His illness, Pulmonary Fibrosis, had advanced drastically, and his doctor told me that his heart and lungs could not recover; they just gave out.
Even when you are expecting death, it’s still a shock.
TMI Tuesday: Sept 7, 2021: Creativity Leads To Success
1. In what way is creativity just like sex?
I see sex as creative in the physical sense; those involved find new ways to pleasure one another. It’s creative in the mental and emotional senses as well. Sex is an art form. It’s a musical form with the rhythm and expressive sounds being made.
2. What important successes have you had in life that people just don’t know about?
Many people don’t know that I wrote and published a children’s book and edited and published a cookbook.
3. What do you like more being a leader or a follower?
At work, I prefer to be the leader, but during sex, I’m a submissive follower.
4. If you could send a message to an alien species, what would it be?
A video full of images of different places on earth, music of every genre, and messages in each language. I would tell them that even though we have our problems, we have our positive qualities too. We are still learning how to navigate through life.
5. Have you ever been happy that you lied?
I was at a party for young mothers one night. We were talking about having babies and the challenges we each faced. One woman was near tears, saying that she felt too old to have more children because she was turning 35. Age was never a problem for me, other than trying to look older because I always looked younger than I was. I was younger than she was, but I told her I was older. She seemed so relieved by that. I was 30 when my first child was born and 33 with my second. My grandmother was 42 when my mother was born, and Janet Jackson gave birth to her first child when she was 50.
Bonus: What can you do that no one else can?
With nearly 8 billion people in the world, I doubt there is only one person who can do something. Odds are no matter what it is you can do, at least one other person can do it too. So I can’t think of anything that would qualify.
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
Gun Violence
There is so much going on in the world these days, so much loss and destruction from forest fires to earthquakes to hurricanes and especially a pandemic. These are natural-born events. But there are also man-made destruction events such as car accidents and plane crashes, building fires, mudslides, floods, and war. And the way we live is causing the planet to warm up at an astonishing rate. These things are ignored and chalked up as caused by “God”, making it all seem acceptable.
But one man-made weapon of “mass” destruction is guns. And American attitudes about guns enable a lot of people to die who didn’t need to. Too many people who own guns point to the 2nd Amendment of the American Constitution as proof that they have the right to own as many guns as they wish and to use them however they want.
Mass shootings are a relatively recent occurrence worldwide but worse in the United States.
One of the earliest mass shootings happened in 1920 when a racist white mob attacked more than 30 citizens of Ocoee, Florida. Their crime? Being black and wanting to vote in the presidential election. The white townspeople ran the rest of the black citizens out of town, and their businesses burned down. Ocoee became a white town and remained that way for 60 years. Attitudes of racism haven’t changed much since. The following year a similar event happened in Tulsa, Oklahoma, in what came to be known as the Tulsa Race Massacre, with hundreds of black people e killed using guns and fire and assisted by the National Guard.
I remember hearing about the Tower Shooting at the University of Texas in 1966 and then the Kent State Shootings in 1970, which haunted me for years because those students were the same age I was. But the one that stunned me the most and made me wonder what direction we were going in was the Columbine massacre in 1999. I was working at a middle school when that happened. My office was next to the office of the vice-principal who had a TV. I heard the vice-principal cry out, “oh, my god”, and went to investigate. There I saw the report of the shootings. These were students… just kids, children. My children were the same age. These children hoped to “honor” the Oklahoma City Federal Building in 1995 and to have their names go down in history. The year of the Oklahoma bombing, I was working at an elementary school, and we heard about it on the radio. What was going on in our world?
Between 1966 and 1999, there were 69 major mass shootings, many were race-related, and most of the shooters were young white men. Nearly 400 people died in 33 years. Just this year, there have been over 430 people killed in mass shootings in this country. There have been so many others, such as DC Sniper, the Capitol Hill Massacre in Seattle, which happened close to where I lived at one time. The killing of the five Amish girls in a schoolhouse in Pennsylvania, The Virginia Tech shooting where 33 people died. Twenty-seven people were shot at Northern Illinois University in DeKalb, where my husband attended graduate school. The Safeway shooting in Tucson killed a little girl and injured Gabby Giffords. The Racer Cafe shooting in 2012 in Seattle, also in 2012. The shooting at the theater in Aurora, Colorado. That shooting had people screaming that we needed good guys with guns, and that attitude prompted me to write about why that’s not the good idea they think it is. I’ll attach that at the end. But it also prompted people to say enough is enough. But it wasn’t enough. There was Sandy Hook in that same year where 20 tiny children were killed. The Pulse Nightclub shooting where 50 people were killed in Orlando. An astounding 472 people were shot at a Las Vegas music festival, killing 60. Hundreds of others were injured trying to flee. And then there was Parkland in 2018. We thought surely that after this shooting, people would say enough. The high school students organized in such a way that most adults haven’t been able to do. I was sure that would be enough. Wouldn’t it? But it wasn’t. In the three years since Parkland, there have been 52 other mass murders in the United States. Gun rights activists just don’t get it. They don’t see how having easy access to guns, having a sense of entitlement to the right to own a firearm, based on their interpretation of the 2nd Amendment, and a high level of anger for anything, ranging from personal relationships to grudges to racist hatred to just wanting to flaunt the power they think they have while using a gun. This doesn’t even count accidental shooters or suicides using a gun.
All of the perpetrators have been arrested and are now in prison, or they committed suicide. But that doesn’t help the families who had to bury loved ones.
And it doesn’t look like things will change much in the future. Some states, like Texas, allow open carry of guns. House Bill 1927, the new law in Texas, allows people to carry a handgun in public without a permit. It’s called “permitless carry,” Pro-gun groups call it “Constitutional Carry.”
When the Second Amendment was ratified in 1791, the guns of that period were just single-shot muskets, flintlock pistols, and long rifles for a few lucky soldiers. These were the guns used during the Revolutionary War. By the Civil War in 1862, they were still using muskets, pistols, and rifles. Nowhere in that midst did they have AK-47 assault rifles. These guns have one purpose: to kill. Proponents like to insist that AK-47’s are used for hunting, but I doubt that people are killing masses of deer or elk at one time.
The Second Amendment says, “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”
A well-regulated militia. Not some military-wanna-be (who doesn’t have the courage to join the military) strolling through Walmart trying to “impress” everyone.
“The “Right to bear arms” was meant to protect an individual person. It was meant to protect personal property. The right to keep and bear arms was meant for personal defense, not the mass killings of innocent men, women and children. “
Owning and carrying guns was allowed as long as it wasn’t done with the intent to terrorize others. A lot of people who choose to walk around with a rifle or AK-47 missed that part. They love to initiate fear by bearing arms, which is a form of terrorizing. Too many take it a step further by actually shooting people and taking pleasure in the process.
It’s not bad enough that we have thousands of people dying a virus that could be controlled if they just wear the damn mask and get vaccinated.
We have people dying from fires, floods, hurricanes and tornados, earthquakes, car accidents, and drownings, but that’s not enough, apparently.
These predominantly white, mostly young, almost always angry, and often racist men have to show how tough they are by shooting others. Now it seems that Christians are expected to be gun owners too. Not sure where in the bible that is said, but they feel it’s their “god-given right.”
This article echoes what I wrote in my piece below:
I feel that gun owners should be required to take classes in proper gun use and shooting instruction and learn about the 2nd Amendment and its history. And have to get a license (not just a permit) and register their gun. If they are responsible gun owners, they won’t object to these requirements.
These gun-toting, Trump-voting, Christian-proclaiming Republicans insist they have other rights, too… the right not to wear a mask (my body my choice), yet condemn women who say the same thing about abortion. They have the right not to get vaccines of any kind, and it doesn’t matter if they received most of them as children; they wish to deny the same for their own children. The reason I see the most for not having any vaccinations is that it causes Autism, which isn’t life-threatening, while measles, chickenpox, and Covid 19 easily could be.
They forget we have rights as well. Especially the right to stay alive and not get Covid 19 due to their selfishness… and the right not to get shot.
These people are selfish, pure and simple. It doesn’t matter if it’s about guns, masks, and vaccines; they don’t care about anyone other than themselves. They say they are looking for their family, but women in this group see their children as their property, and men see their wives as their property. And they hate anyone who is not exactly like them… white, Christian, straight, uneducated, and narrowminded.
Were they always like this? I don’t know. I had friends and have family members who believe this way, and most of them fit the description of racist, misogynistic, bible-believing (but not reading it) narcissists. It’s sad that I never saw it before. Maybe they hid it well. Perhaps I didn’t know what to look for it. But once Trump was elected, they came “out,” and many friendships ended, and families were torn apart.
In a sense, Trump did create a civil war, encouraged hatred, and encouraged more gun use.
It will take years to heal the wounds and stop the gun violence. I hope it’s not too late.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_mass_shootings_in_the_United_States
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Columbine_High_School_massacre
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oklahoma_City_bombing
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_infantry_weapons_in_the_American_Revolution
I wrote this after the mass shooting at the theater of Aurora, Colorado:
I am not a gun owner, and I have no desire to be one. I also have no desire to restrict legal gun owners from having one of their own. But I wonder how many who do have thought about these things?
Okay, I’ve been thinking about this all night, and let me share my thoughts about this.
While it’s admirable that people would want to protect their families in this kind of situation, but what is the likelihood that you could or would… and let me tell you why I wonder this.
People who have never been in this situation forget some tangible and intangible things about fear… the five senses.
First is sight. You are in a dark theater, maybe with your family on each side of you. You have a bright picture on a large screen in front. If someone with an assault rifle comes in from the back and starts shooting, the bright flashes from the shots are most likely going to disorient you about where he actually is. Also, your first thoughts will be for your children; second thoughts will be for where the shooter is.
Now sound: The level of the sound volume of the movie is very loud and will muffle the gunshots’ sound. Even when this happens in another venue… school, mall, whatever, it takes most people a few minutes to realize what is happening because they are not used to hearing this kind of sound.
Touch… most likely, if you are in a movie, you are eating popcorn and drinking a soda. Your hands will slick from that… add in the fear and adrenaline factors, and your hands are going to be cold and clammy, and your reaction time slowed down because of it, if and when you can get your gun in your hand.
Taste. Fear tends to cause your stomach to churn, which causes bile to move up from your stomach into your mouth and taste buds, making you queasy, which will slow your reaction time and reflexes even further.
Smell.. this is the one that no one thinks about. Fear often causes people to lose control of the muscles of their bladder and bowels, which causes people to literally piss or shit in their pants. Say 10% of the audience does that; the stench in the theater will be overwhelming very quickly. This will cause more fear and the desire to get out of there fast, which gets most people killed the quickest.. from standing up and running.
Now suppose at least two other people have the same idea you have.. they have a gun, they want to protect their families too if they are even thinking clearly at that point. One is behind you, and one is in front of you. You all now react, without thinking and stand up, the one guy behind you slightly before you do. Focusing on the shooter, you don’t focus on the other man, and you shoot, shooting him in the back, while your children watch. What makes you think the three of you can get off one shot at a time against someone who can get off multiple shots in seconds, especially when you can’t see him in the dark and are being blinded by the flash of his multiple shots?
Unless you are trained as a sharpshooter, it would be dumb luck at best.
Now say the guy in front of you tries to get a shot off but is hit by several shots from the original shooter just as the guy in front of you pulls his trigger. Now he has lost control of his aim and gun, and it’s pointed down at your child huddling on the floor as the bullet leaves the chamber.
You’ve not saved anyone; in fact, you helped to kill two people right there, including your own child.
Guns do not magically protect anyone.
Having one will not protect you, especially if the original shooter has a much bigger and more powerful weapon. Also, remember.. as a sane, rational person, you are not starting your day thinking about killing someone. The shooter is and has probably been thinking of nothing else for days. He knows what he is going to do and how you are probably going to react. He goes in with those expectations in mind.
If you do own a gun, how much training have you had with it? How often do you go to the gun range to practice? I’m pretty sure no matter how much you do, it’s still not anywhere what the original shooter has done. Why? Because you have other things to think about and to do. He has a sole purpose: to kill as many people as quickly as he can. Your single-shot pistol can only do so much and from just a certain distance. His automatic weapon can do a whole lot more. Even if you walked around with a similar gun, would you be able to react fast enough to make a difference?
Please consider all of this before you buy a gun and think it’s the answer to all of your problems. This is true life, reality, and it’s not like in the movies. You could end up creating more problems than you solve.
TMI Tuesday August 31, 2021: Questions, Questions, Questions
- Shower or bath?
Shower. I love my rain shower and handheld shower. I do miss bubble baths.
- Are you a good cook? And if so, what’s your specialty?
I think so. Although not what you’d call gourmet, More down-home, reminiscent of ancestral foods and recipes. I don’t have one speciality. People have liked my Rosemary Chicken, Macaroni Salad, Homemade Macaroni and Cheese, Broccoli Salad, Danish Pastry.
- Is there anything you regret not doing?
A lot of things. Everything from not reporting the rapes to the police, not speaking up at Tom Music’s murder trial, not going to a four-year college and living in a dorm, not learning more about sex at an earlier age, not leaving Christianity earlier than I did.
- Who was the nicest person you worked for?
Can I say myself? I can’t think of any one boss that I thought was nice; they all were tripping on their egos. Jim Peters probably came the closest, although he didn’t give me much guidance, and the principal of the school where I worked thought she was my boss, although in reality, we both worked for Jim.
- Do you play an instrument?
Sigh… no, another one of my regrets.
Bonus: Do you dream?
Yes, but fortunately, these days I don’t remember any of them.
Source: https://www.interviewmagazine.com/
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!
Starting Out in Meditation
Because a friend had mentioned how meditation helped her and said that I had taught her how I thought I would post how I’ve taught others how to meditate.
It’s not as hard as a lot of people assume. You don’t have to sit in a lotus position for hours for it to work. As little as five minutes of meditation can make a difference. The key is to slow down your breathing and your heart rate.
Meditation: Starting Out
I know for me, it was to take it a step at a time. At first, it was just choosing a place to meditate and then sitting there to meditate.
Choose the time and space where you can meditate; it should be someplace that is quiet, where you can be comfortable without falling asleep (so the bed usually isn’t the best place), and where you can sit for a reasonable time without being disturbed.
This can be sitting on a chair or the floor. If you sit on the floor, sit with your legs crossed and place your hands on your knees. If you are sitting in a chair, make sure your feet are placed with the soles flat on the floor. Don’t cross your legs or arms. Place your hands on the arms of the chair or on your lap. In both cases, try to have your hands with your palms up. Both of these positions put you in a kind of triangle shape. The triangle shape allows you to be open and receptive on three sides; the palms up allow you to send and receive.
You can start out spending just one minute meditating and working up from there, adding a minute each day. Even five minutes at a time is beneficial. I learned these techniques when I was in therapy after my car accident, and I was afraid to drive again.
Now, close your eyes, and work on quieting your mind. Some people say to empty your mind, but this is nearly impossible, especially when first starting. Yoga masters spend decades learning how to “empty” their minds, but it’s not necessary for most people.
The Japanese have a technique called “compartmentalizing” specific thoughts… to be retrieved later. This technique was also used for me when I have had hypnosis. It works very well in meditation, too.
Imagine a beautiful cabinet in any style and color you wish. See the color and material it’s made of, touch it, make it yours. Open the doors of the cabinet, and you will see many drawers inside. Each of these drawers is a compartment to keep a thought, a memory, or a worry, to be kept safely until needed later.
Now start to quiet your mind. Whenever a new thought, worry, or feeling pops in, lovingly take it and place it in a drawer, telling yourself you will come and get it later.
With your eyes closed, breathe deeply… the technique I use for this is a breath rotation… first, breathe in through my nose and exhale out my mouth; after about a minute, breathe in through my mouth and exhale out my nose. Some people will do better doing just one, either way, depending on which one is most comfortable for them.
Okay, now this process doesn’t seem like much, but it all is part of the process of meditating. And it will take some practice. Even if you can only do this for five minutes, it’s better than doing nothing at all. It may take a week or more to be able to get to this point comfortably.
It doesn’t have to be a specific place, although that would be nice. It’s just identifying it as “my meditation place.” This can change as needed. Places could be sitting on a couch, in a corner on the floor, outside under a tree, or on a beach, or even in the bathtub. Sometimes the best place is sitting cross-legged in the middle of your bed…
I like sitting on the deck in the sun too. The beach. Walking around the neighborhood. While watching a mediation video that I have… it practically hypnotizes you… Listening to music. One of my favorites is listening to The Doors “Light My Fire” and visualizing and imagining that I am running through Woodland Park.
Sometimes just “being” is meditating. Meditation is the gradual shift in focusing your thoughts and attention to ignore those obsessive thoughts, lowering your heart rate and breathing.
When you sit and watch a fire blazing in the fireplace or watching fish in an aquarium, you are meditating.
When you zone off while watching a good movie or a great book, that is meditating.
Also, when you watch waves on the beach or a sunrise or sunset.
You can use other items to focus on, and it’s their simplicities that make them work so well… a candle flame, a quartz crystal, a mandala, colored lights.
You can meditate while walking, in a park, a beach, or on a labyrinth… any place you don’t have to worry about traffic.
Daydreaming and journaling are also forms of meditating.
Did you know that gardening is also a way to meditate? Anything that you can “lose yourself” in is a meditative experience.
There are so many ways and places that a person can meditate…. All you need is a comfortable, quiet place where you can relax and the ability to slow down your breathing and lower your heart rate.
Young Writers
Illustory: Write and Illustrate a Professionally Produced Book
I bought this years ago for my daughter when she was about 9. She died when she was 16 and I still have the book she wrote, illustrated, and published with this product. It’s now been 20 years since she died and I treasure this book. I’m so glad they are still making this product for other children to create something very personal.
Outfit of the Day: Blue Petals
DC Would-be Bomber
I remember a few years ago, well, maybe more than a few, of the DC Sniper that terrorized people of the nation’s capital. Now we have the DC Would-be Bomber… a self-stylist, manifest-toting, gun-slinging, violence-focused, Trump-supporting, selfish Christian Republican. Many out there fit this description; in fact, this guy claimed to be one of five. But there are many more than that, considering that 500 people were arrested after the January 6th insurrection in DC. But for everyone with this attitude and behavior which become known and arrested, there are 100 more just like them.
This guy was live streaming QAnon, anti-Biden nonsense to his Facebook account because he was pissed that Trump wasn’t “reinstated” on August 13th. Again, many like him were upset and demanding that Biden step down and allow their candidate to step back into his rightful role as president of the United States.
Because he had the camera trained on his face the entire time, I can’t help wondering if he was getting off on the attention.
“In the videos, he began by talking about how his health insurance wouldn’t pay for anything anymore. He said he’d been getting injections in his knees to help him walk, but when he went to the doctor he said that the insurance didn’t cover him. He went on to say that his wife had skin cancer but that the insurance wouldn’t cover it either because they considered it “cosmetic.” He said that his wife had to have her nose practically removed.
“I cleared my conscious with God,” he said, noting that he told his wife he’d be “home” on Sunday, “whichever home it is.”
“I have no fear. None,” he continued. “That crack in my voice is from the passion for the land I love. Somebody needs to tell Joe Biden we here. Fcking revolution starts today, Joe Biden and before you go crackin’ any pops on me you better get your military experts out and ask them what a seven-pound keg of gunpowder would do with two-and-a-half pounds of tannerite will do, mother fcker! You know what else? I’m not going to light it. I’m going to give Joe Biden the option to.””
This is what ignorance does to you. If he had any kind of education or research skills, he would know that Biden didn’t create the insurance rules, nor did Obama; Obamacare was often said to cause insurance rates to go up, but it was the Insurance Companies who did that themselves, taking advantage of the situation. Insurance laws and tax laws are both overdue to be changed. He is also giving Biden way more power than he has. Does this man really believe that Joe Biden has the ability to change insurance regulations in just eight months? Why didn’t he blame Trump for the same thing? Trump had four years to try to change Obamacare and was only lukewarm at his attempts. He was more bluster than effect.
I also “like” how he says he cleared his actions with god! Of course, his god will tell him it’s okay; it’s his own mind that is giving him permission. But the Trumplicans believe violence is part of their religion; therefore, it’s okay. Of course, there is a tremendous amount of violence in the bible, but I doubt many of them have read it.
“He went on to claim that “he is one of five,” but didn’t clarify what that meant. “Them little roadblocks settin’ up comin’ on down here, those roadblocks ain’t gonna scare f*ckin nobody. You wastin’ your time. Southern boys are here. You can take me out but you know what’s gonna happen, Joe Biden, there’s gonna be a chain reaction. And that chain reaction is going to be on your hands when you crack a bullet through my windows.””
Southern boys, huh? The same ones that lost the American Civil War?
And all got arrested at the Insurrection eight months ago? And claim allegiance to Nazism, who also lost a war? And who has to walk around carrying guns and ammo to show how tough they are?
The would-be bomber parked the vehicle on the sidewalk and told an officer who approached him that he had a bomb while holding what appeared to be a detonator.
Police communicated with the guy via a whiteboard and used a robot to deliver him a telephone, which he did not use, and he then stepped out of the vehicle and surrendered.
Facebook took removed this war-monger’s page. They don’t take too kindly to threats on their site; it makes them look bad. We won’t get into how much of a bully Facebook is. Although I can understand how having this kind of rhetoric on social media can egg on others. They are so easily led down the road of destruction.
This doesn’t appear to be unusual behavior for this man;
“He’s crazy. He pulled a gun on me and his sister, and shot at me numerous times,” his ex-wife told Reuters.”
Republican Alabama Representative Mo Brooks, who seems to consider himself a one-person cheerleading squad for Donald Trump, also seemed to be encouraging this kind of behavior with his comments:
“Sadly, violence and threats of violence targeting America’s political institutions are far too common,” Brooks tweeted. “Although this terrorist’s motivation is not yet publicly known, and generally speaking, I understand citizenry anger directed at dictatorial Socialism and its threat to liberty, freedom, and the very fabric of American society. The way to stop Socialism’s march is for patriotic Americans to fight back in the 2022 and 2024 elections.”
Brooks also spoke at the January 6th “Stop the Steal” rally that preceded the attack on the Capitol and many other pro-Trump rallies.
Obviously, he dislikes “socialism”, although he seems not to understand that word’s definition and equates socialism with communism. He appears to accept Fascism instead of tolerating social democracy.
I’m not surprised this happened, and I won’t be surprised if it happens again. Trump spent six years encouraging violent behavior, and many are taking him at his word. They believe following through with violence will illustrate their loyalty to Donald Trump.
I’m glad he failed. But I’m sad he thinks that killing people is the answer to his frustrations.
https://www.rawstory.com/capitol-bomber-manifesto-ray-roseberry/
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-58273778
https://www.thenation.com/article/politics/capitol-bomb-threat-congress/
https://www.rawstory.com/mo-brooks-terrorist-sympathizer/
Why Women Are Crabby
I’m laughing so hard, I’m crying!
Why Women Are Crabby
We start to “bud” in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find anything that comes in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurts so bad it brings us to tears. Enter the almighty, uncomfortable training bra contraption the boys in school will snap until we have calluses on our backs.
Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we now bloat, we cramp, we get the hormone crankies, have to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn’t even know we had.
Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) is having sex for the first time which is about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (if he did it right and didn’t end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.
Then it’s off to Motherhood where we learn to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we don’t spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learn to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we’re having Rosemary’s Baby.
Our once flat bellies now look like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee in our pants every time we sneeze. When the big moment arrives, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions will invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we’ll waddle with our big cartoon feet moaning in pain all the way to the ER. Then it’s huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, “Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one more (or 10) good push,” warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the bastard (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10lb bowling ball through a keyhole.
After that, it’s time to raise those angels only to find that when all that “cute” wears off, the beautiful little darlings morph into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.
The teen years. Need I say more? The kids are almost grown now and we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our mid-30s to early 40s while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday (which just happens to be the reason all that early hot man sex got you pregnant in the first place).
Now we hit the grand finale: “The Menopause,” the Grandmother of all womanhood. It’s either take the HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned “buds” or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves.
Now, you ask why women seem to be more spiteful than men when men get off so easy including the icing on life’s cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks…
Now I love being a woman but “Womanhood” would make the Great Ghandi a tad crabby.
Women are the “weaker sex”? Yeah, right. Bite me!!
Collage of the Day: Healing Energy
