The book I wrote and published is based on this idea. It’s called Wings of Light and it’s based on some events that happened in my daughter’s life, including one day when she was about 2 and we were out for a walk. She stopped and crouched down to see a caterpillar. She looked up to me and asked,
“Cappapillar sleeping?”
“Yes.”
She stood straight up and stomped on the caterpillar.
“Cappapillar dead!!”
My story goes on telling about how and why that wasn’t such a good idea.
****
I wrote this story on Jan 29, 2001, when I was still somewhat religious… not the devout Christian I once was, but still a syncretic blend of Christianity and Wicca, which is why the story mentions angels and God. I’ve evolved quite a bit in nearly 20 years. My daughter died on Sept 14, 2000 at the age of 16.
Please be forewarned; there is a picture at the end of this post of my daughter in her casket. It’s not meant to be scary, in fact her five year old cousin said she looked like Sleeping Beauty. I’ve included it here because the picture is already all over the Internet… I’ve been amazed at the various places I’ve discovered so I decided to include it here as well. It was the last picture ever taken of her. Like sex, death is fact of life, it’s not evil, obscene or scary. It just is.
Here is my story:
Wings of Light
Written by Cindi Dean Wafstet
Jan 29, 2001
Once upon a time, a glistening castle stood tall in the Kingdom of
Serenity. But the castle was anything but serene after the Princess was
born.
They called her Princess No-No because “no” was the only word she ever
said.
One day when she was but three years of age, she was frolicking in the
woods. The Princess encountered a tiny Faery who looked like a
glittering orb of light.
Intrigued, she looked closely at the wee being, and asked, “Who are
you?”
“I am a fine Faery, and I am here to help you become your destiny.”
The Princess looked at the Faery and said, “I wish to be an Angel.”
The Faery shook her head no.
“My little Princess,” said the Faery, “You are not ready to be an Angel
yet.”
The Princess was not used to hearing the word “no”. She was only used to
saying it herself.
This angered the little Princess.
She looked down and saw a fuzzy black and yellow caterpillar resting on
the fallen leaves.
“Caterpillar sleeping?” Princess No-No asked the Faery.
“Yes,” replied the Faery.
Princess No-No defiantly stood tall, lifted her foot and brought it down
hard on the caterpillar.
“No,” she said, “Caterpillar dead!”
The Faery looked sadly at the caterpillar and then at the Princess.
“That is why you are not ready to be an Angel. That caterpillar was
destined to be a beautiful butterfly. You must learn to respect life
before you will be ready to be an Angel.”
The Faery flew away, and the Princess watched her go feeling very
confused.
Princess No-No never again killed another living thing. She learned to
love and respect all of life’s creatures.
Each year she asked the Faery is she was ready to be an Angel yet.
“No,” said the Faery, “Not yet.”
The Princess would lie on the grass and watch the busy ants at their
work. They taught her about responsibility and about taking care of one
another.
She hugged the brawny trees and they taught her about strength and
stability and growth.
She talked to her colorful feather friends of the sky who taught her
about wonder and freedom.
She talked to her courageous four-legged animal friends who taught her
about survival and family.
The amazing creatures of the seas and rivers taught her about
determination and beauty.
She listened the melodies and tones of the wind and learned to sing and
dance.
From the warmth of the sun, she learned to give and love, and from the
reflection of the moon, she learned about life’s mysteries and about
being a woman.
From the playful snowflakes, she learned how to reflect and laugh, and
from the soulful raindrops, she learned how to cry.
Every year, Princess No-No still asked to be an Angel.
And every year, the Faery still said, “Not yet.”
When the Princess was sixteen, the Faery finally told her, “Yes.”
The Faery christened her Princess CleoShia and turned her into a
Sleeping Beauty.
All of the Princess’ friends were heartbroken that their friend was no
longer with them.
Through the Princess’ friends, the Faery saw that the Princess had
indeed learned her lessons well.
CleoShia had tried very hard to make amends for killing the poor
caterpillar so many years before.
Suddenly around the Faery appeared a multitude of beautiful butterflies
in all colors, sizes, and shapes.
The Faery knew that butterflies meant rebirth, and that they were God’s answer.
Princess CleoShia was transformed into a magnificent Angel. Her black
hair shone brightly and brilliant white feathered wings spread out from
her back to reach the ground. Behind CleoShia’s head was a halo of
bright golden light.
CleoShia smiled at the Faery and said simply, “Thank you.”
“Thank you,” said the Faery, “You have learned your lessons well, and
God is pleased. The Gods beckon you to heaven. There you shall be a guardian Angel, to watch over all of your family and friends.”
Princess No-No, now the Angel CleoShia turned and saw a long tunnel and
at the end of the tunnel was a bright, white light. The light at the end
of the tunnel was her future. She knew she had learned and sacrificed
greatly for this honor.
CleoShia walked towards the light as she heard a voice say,
“For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to
harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Jeremiah 29:11
(Drawing was done and poem written by Courtney shortly before her death. I didn’t find either until after she died. The poem was used by her classmates as a tribute to her in the high school yearbook for the class of 2002)
~*~
Your Guardian Angel
By CleoShia (Courtney) CE: 2000
I was driving down the road
Coming to see you
I was having a great time
Couldn’t wait to talk to you
I was worshipping and singing to the Lord
When our of nowhere
Someone ran a stop sign
I saw a white tunnel
Like everyone sees
I couldn’t believe what happened
How could someone do this to me?
I wasn’t ready to go
I had to see you one last time
I heard a voice from the light
“If you don’t come now
You will never be able to go”
I decided to stay
I had to make sure someone
Would always be there for you
I stood in your room
You didn’t know I was there
But you sensed someone was in the room
When ever you feel that sensation
Remember me
I will always be your guardian angel
For the rest of your life
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