“Old People Sex”

I can’t do much these days, but I can speak out on social injustices, and I am. Racism, sexism, misogyny, gay rights, rape culture, fatphobia, ableism, and ageism. We have a long way to go, and at times it feels like two steps forward and one step back.

But this idea that old people having sex is getting annoying. First a TV commercial of a young teenage boy coming down the stairs and hearing weird noises from his grandparent’s bedroom and he thinks they are having “old people sex”. A few years ago there was another TV commercial of an older man and older woman having “kitchen table sex,” and it sounded like someone was moaning and groaning and the fire department broke down the door. They were embarrassed to find two naked grandparents in the middle of passionate sex. And recently on the TV series “Mom” they were talking about “old people sex… ewww!!”  And then there was the “young” woman (who was 40) on a site I used to visit who was laughing at the fact that she found sex toys in the house she just bought. The house belonged to a couple in their 60s and she wondered what two old people were doing with handcuffs, a ball gag, and a whip… she couldn’t imagine old people having kinky sex. And then she complained about getting older; she didn’t want to give up sex. I had news for her… she was creeping up to “old” really quickly already. But the good news was that she didn’t have to give up sex when she got older. Where does this idea come from????

Eight years ago I wrote an article about Sex After Fifty I am now over 70 and sex is still important to me. I’m going to repeat some of what I wrote then because those in the back aren’t paying attention!!

“I just read an article that basically said the same thing as to what I was thinking… “Why is it that the younger generation still has the misconception that anyone over the age of 40 does not, or cannot have sex?” On this site, there were two comments about “older people” and sex, like what are they doing on Saturday nights (in regards to sex and sex toys) and laments about dreading about getting old.

Every generation of people when they turn 20 years old think that when they discover sex, they are the first to do so and no one has ever experienced fucking like they have, that previous generations never had it like this, and they just will never understand! Yeah, right. Yes, I know, we did too… there was a motto that said, “Never trust anyone over 30.” It made sense at the time, but we never dreamed that time would go by so quickly, and we would suddenly BE over thirty!!

There is a line in a movie that says, “We didn’t create sex; we just perfected it”.

Sex is nothing new. I know that. I knew that then, as most people did. I also realized that in previous generations not everyone waited until after marriage to lose their virginity. My family history is proof of this as more than half of the women in my family were pregnant on their wedding day and gave birth to 9lb premature babies 5 months after the wedding. Sure.

When did baby boomers and hippies suddenly get old? Actually, we didn’t. It’s just the perception of those who are younger.

For some reason, anyone under 40 believes the things that they see in TV and magazine ads. That older people are just sitting around, waiting to die.

Wrong.

We are going to concerts rocking to classic rock, we are writing books, we are running businesses, and some of us are happily retired; we are still questioning things in society, we are protesting wars, looking out for the environment, challenging religious teachings, and yes, we are having awesome, hot, erotic, and kinky sex (including whips and handcuffs).

Sex doesn’t end because we get old. It stops for a 100 other reasons, all which can affect anyone of any age. Only our bodies get old, but our brains don’t… we are whatever age we think we are.

And for those who are in their 20’s, 30’s, and 40’s… don’t blink, because you will be us sooner than you think.”

You should be cheering that we are still having sex, as it means that you will too, and it IS sooner than you think.