Questions from Quora: Advice

What advice would you give to a 14 year old?

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Learn as much about everything as you can, even if it’s not taught at school, church, and at home.

Read. Read. Read. Read books on all topics. Read newspapers, magazines, webpages, blogs. Try to keep an open mind about everything you read. Reflect on what you read and try to find at least one positive thing about each one.

Talk to people. Smile. Look them in the eye. Shake hands. Remember their name. Ask them questions and really listen to their answers. You don’t have to agree with them but try to be respectful of their viewpoint.

Try new things. Go to new places. Listen to new ideas.

Be a leader, rather than a follower. Don’t feel you have to do everything just because your friends do them. You don’t need to lecture them, just say no thanks when they pressure you to do things you don’t want to do.

Decide what problem or problems you’d like to solve and use that as a guide as to what you might do with your life later one. But it’s okay to change your mind on those when the time comes.

Photo by Guduru Ajay bhargav on

Other answers from other people:

Avoid drugs. Trust me on that.

Dont sell drugs, I didn’t like prison; I don’t think you would.

Smoking cigarettes isn’t cool, it’s expensive & stinks.

Dont waste your life wishing it away or wishing you were older, enjoy your youth.

Make as many friends as possible, but don’t trust everyone.

don’t have sex to seem cool, I respect women more if I have to wait. Once dated a girl al three years before we had sex.

Dont have a bf/gf. Mingle & wait to you’re older for a relationship.

Pay attention in school.

Do your homework

STUDY! Christ, I wish someone forced me to

Drinking isn’t worth it the next day, youll enjoy it better if you wait to you’re older.

Listen to your parents. You only get one of each, some don’t have that luxury unfortunately.

Stay away from crime, it’s not worth the time.

Dont waste your time watching TV & playing games, get outside & play! Fish, camp, hunt, fix your bike, fix your lawn mower…it all counts.

Youre 14, although you don’t have you work; understand that your parents have worked very hard to provide you with what you have. Respect that.

Avoid those that seem cool. Everyone wants to be cool, but eventually everyone realises that those cool people are just assholes! Trust me.

Avoid those who treat you like you’re cool, when you have something they like or want.

Don’t bully anyone.

Treat others how you want to be treated, but don’t be too soft.

Do some charty work. It builds character & you learn to value things you’d take for granted.

Save! Always get ready for something. You’re going to buy a car someday, a holiday, your first place. It’s all the same, but having savings leaves you prepared.

There’s a lot of seriously bad shit going on in the world today. You don’t have to worry about it, yet. Enjoy that.

Be nice to old people, smile, say hello, help them if you can. Someday you’ll be old too.

If you’ve younger siblings, teach them. Take care of them, tell & show them things they’ll like or should avoid.

Don’t eat too much junk food, they pump so much crap & chemicals into food these days as it is.

Live somewhere peaceful for awhile, it’ll help you view the world differently. also, live somewhere like New York City for awhile too, but leave before it makes you too hard.

Try growing a plant, a small shrub. Nothing fancy, all it needs is light & water. It’ll help you in terms of a routine for life. If you can keep that alive, you’ll do alright in life.

If you decide to join the military at some point, let me tell you this; there’s a time to stand & fight, but there’s also a time to run. There’s no shame in living to fight another day.

Become an organ & blood doner, your blood will save lives & someday, even in death you may save a life.

Get a dog. I’ve a better connection with my dogs than most people, the reason being; the more time you spend around various types of people, the less you’ll like them. There’s no hidden depth in animals.

Take care of your mental health, it’s alright to ask for help. It takes a strong person to reach out.

Play some sports, when you finish school the medals & trophies are absolutely priceless as a keepsake

Photo by kat wilcox on


The friends you have now, probably won’t be the same ones you have when you’re older, and that’s not a bad thing. Accept that.

Know that despite what the adults say, you are in fact capable feeling love for someone else, but don’t confuse sex with love. They’re not the same thing.

Don’t do drugs. For real. There are so many other ways to experience “high’s” (conquering a mountain, giving a speech in front of a huge crowd, scoring the winning basket). Drugs do nothing but alter who you are, in the worst way, not to mention put your life at risk. Life only gets tougher along the way and trust me, you’re going to need every single brain cell to thrive.

Either get off of social media completely or limit yourself. At 14, all it’s going to is encourage you to compare yourself to those who may seem like they have it all when they don’t. It’s not real. You are real. Stay real.

This is an extension of 4. DO NOT PUT YOUR WHOLE LIFE ONLINE!! You will absolutely be judged by every single move you make in life. It’s perfectly okay to make mistakes and do dumb things (as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else). Don’t give future employers or important people in your life reasons to hold you back from your dreams.

Learn to be selfless. It’s tough not to be self-centered when you’re only 14 and trying to figure yourself out, but do for others when there’s no benefit to you (other than feeling good about who you are).

If you have good parents, love them. Cherish them. Honour them and all of the hard work they put into raising you by stepping out into the world and being the best human you can be.

Love. Hard. But don’t let it ruin or change who you are, unless it’s for the better.

Study. Don’t cheat. And make your teachers your allies. You would be amazed at how much they can help you in the future.

Explore your sexuality…with yourself. Before you share your body with someone else, learn to be a lover. Don’t sell sexuality, exploit it or take it for granted. Stay away from hardcore porn. It teaches you nothing and it’s all fake anyway. Know that consent is very black and white. NO ONE is permitted to put their hands on your body unless you say so. And if it’s against your say so, scream it from the mountain tops. It’s not okay. Ever.

Don’t follow the herd. Dare to go in the other direction, and start now. The world is going to throw a whole lot of BS your way and you need to be strong enough to stand up to it.

Know that family comes in all walks of life and doesn’t necessarily share DNA. Embrace those who want to raise you up, and stay in their corner when they need the same from you.

Travel if you can. And if you need ideas on how you can do that at 14, ask me. I’ll help.

If and when depression hits, don’t give into the darkness. We need you here. You’re 14, you’ve got an incredible opportunity to create the most amazing life for yourself. Don’t give up. Again, we need you here so we can witness your greatness.

Eat well. I don’t care if you’re a vegan, vegetarian, gluten-free, whatever. Put good things into your body and it will pay you back 10 fold.

Learn to be humble, when to show confidence, when to be vulnerable and when to take initiative. You first have to listen and be observant, but these are states of being that will fling doors open.

Learn to be grateful.

Don’t be tolerant, be accepting. Just because we don’t agree with someone doesn’t mean we can’t love them, or like them. Don’t let differences divide unless the differences are harmful.

Be kind to animals

Laugh. Be silly. Cry. You’re 14. Your entire life is ahead of you so enjoy this moment

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