Why Women Are Crabby

I’m laughing so hard, I’m crying!

Why Women Are Crabby

We start to “bud” in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find anything that comes in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurts so bad it brings us to tears. Enter the almighty, uncomfortable training bra contraption the boys in school will snap until we have calluses on our backs.

Photo by Arno Senoner on Unsplash

Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we now bloat, we cramp, we get the hormone crankies, have to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn’t even know we had.

Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) is having sex for the first time which is about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (if he did it right and didn’t end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.

Photo by Charles Deluvio on Unsplash

Then it’s off to Motherhood where we learn to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we don’t spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learn to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we’re having Rosemary’s Baby.

Our once flat bellies now look like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee in our pants every time we sneeze. When the big moment arrives, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions will invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we’ll waddle with our big cartoon feet moaning in pain all the way to the ER. Then it’s huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, “Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one more (or 10) good push,” warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the bastard (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10lb bowling ball through a keyhole.

Photo by Glitch Lab App on Unsplash

After that, it’s time to raise those angels only to find that when all that “cute” wears off, the beautiful little darlings morph into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.

The teen years. Need I say more? The kids are almost grown now and we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our mid-30s to early 40s while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday (which just happens to be the reason all that early hot man sex got you pregnant in the first place).

Now we hit the grand finale: “The Menopause,” the Grandmother of all womanhood. It’s either take the HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned “buds” or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Now, you ask why women seem to be more spiteful than men when men get off so easy including the icing on life’s cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks…

Now I love being a woman but “Womanhood” would make the Great Ghandi a tad crabby.

Women are the “weaker sex”? Yeah, right. Bite me!!

One thought on “Why Women Are Crabby

  1. Well boys have woodies when young. As a FB post of a while back, teen age boys can be convicted of sexual abuse for snapping bras, a girl can shout rape anytime she wants and sometimes create great havoc in s boys life, same with little children. Tyhru medication and severe” significant others they can become flaccid. Older years and illness can find odd items up their penis. So thay dont get off Scott free.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

The Yukon Harbor Historical Society.

The History of Colby, South Colby, Harper, Manchester, Blake Island, and the Yukon Harbor Area of Washington State & Western Puget Sound.

GRACEFIFTEENTEN

Unleashing the beauty of creativity

Barbie Girl Wonderland

Doll Reviews, Photostories & DIY Adventures

Lluís Bussé

Barcelona's Multiverse | Art | Culture | Science

Life, Entirely

She designed a life she loved...

Kathy by Design

Custom Paper Art for All Occasions

Silent Songs of Sonsnow

"I have enough time to rest, but I don't have a minute to waste". Come and catch me with your wise words and we will have some fun with our words of wisdom.

Inside Insights

reflections on what life gifts you

The Nomadic Architect

An Wandering Monk'ey'

BJDs for Dummies

A page about BJDs for the uninformed

Paper Life Painting

Visual works of Wayne Wolfson

SexPuppet

Continuing Adventures of a New Submissive

Osaka Language Solutions - Japanese Interpreting Services

Professional Japanese Interpreting Services

The Frugal Crafter Blog

Groovy craft projects, crafty recipes and other artsy stuff.

Deb's World

Midlife, fun and adventure

Silicon Valley Types

portraits & figures by an older woman artist, with blue collar roots

All Nudist

Everything about the Nudist/Naturist lifestyle

Penny Berry Quinn's Path

An Adult little girl carrying on with her Daddy in Heaven

Pressvision's Blog

Just another WordPress.com site

Billenkoek

Alles dat je ooit wilde weten over billenkoek...

Adult Second Life Blog

Second Life Blog: Sexy, Adult, Nudy, Sex, BDSM and a lot of more Adult Themes

chapter18

A blog with an Indian prespective

dreamshadow59

A great WordPress.com site

This girl's weblog

of life married to a deviously dominant madman!

Towint

The pagan path. The Old Ways In New Times

This Carbon Based Life

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

exposing40

Friends. Photography. Adventure.

sharechair

Everyday Technology for Everyday Folks

The Geeky Gaeilgeoir

Musings on, and sometimes in, the Irish language

Erotic Musings, Poetry, and Social Commentary

Thoughts, writings, social commentary, and some photography by David Mei. Warning intended for an adult audience if you are not the age of majority where you live, leave now.

Alphabet Ravine

Lydia Rae Bush Poetry

Posy Churchgate ~ Pillow Talk

Fiction with sexual/ adult themes. some non fiction

The Wolf in the Night Sky

A Blogspace for a Daddy Dom

Finding Strength in my Submission

Mature audience only, 18+ NSFW...kinky sex & spankings ahead!

mywildlens

self discovery through photography

Me Against Myself

Let's talk about mental health.

eatliveescape.wordpress.com/

Ingredients for a Beautiful Life!

All about Toni Dolls

For fans of vintage Ideal Toni dolls

Blogable

When it's in your head, it's blogable

After Bella

Addiction Forgiveness Acceptance

The Druids Garden

Spiritual journeys in tending the living earth, permaculture, and nature-inspired arts

Torte - The Blog

Recipes, products and decorating ideas from Torte Cake Decorating Supplies, New Zealand based

The Fat Baby Boomer

Give fat shaming the middle finger using body acceptance and neuroplasticity

Big Cat's Kitty Shed

On what's happening meow

Rohini Kudva

feminism | activism | politics |

%d bloggers like this: