TMI Tuesday: December 15, 2020: Relationships

What is considered moral or immoral, accepted or prohibited is generally defined by the norms, values, and beliefs of society?

1. Agree or Disagree. If people want to have more than one spouse they should be allowed to do that.

The only people who should be making this decision, are the people involved. Not the government, not the church, not someone’s parents or family, not their friends and not the neighbors. As long as all parties agree to this, it shouldn’t matter what anyone else thinks or believes. This applied to same sex marriage too, so I see no reason why it shouldn’t apply to polyamory. The only acceptations are when one of the people is underage, as many brides of conservative religions, such as Fundamentalist’s Mormons or some sects of Islam. Forcing members of a religion to abide by and partake in plural marriage simply because years ago one person made the decision that god dictate the decree, is unfair and ridiculous. But if all members of a plural marriage agree to it, it’s no one else’s business.

2. Do you believe in ethical non-monogamy?

Yes. I think it makes more sense than forced marriages. Even when a couple decides to get married, too often it’s still forced and due to being pregnant, the desire for a big blow out wedding, pressure from parents, the church or society, peer pressure, or trying to keep pace with friends or siblings, fear of being alone, needing someone to financially support them, and so many other reasons. According to statistics, nearly 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Too many people going into marriage with a lack of knowledge in basic relationship skills. No one learns these things because no one teaches them. Then there is what feels like a competition to stay in a marriage for as long as you can so you can brag “we’ve been married for 40 years”. Is that an accomplishment? Or is it just luck? I’d rather see marriage as open marriages where you live with someone or more than one someone, but you still have the option of seeing other people. That should make the divorce rate drop.

3. Is polyamory something you want?

It is something I would definitely consider. It would depend on who the other people are and the structure of the relationships.

4. Do you wish that your ethical non-monogamy was a societal/cultural norm?

Yes, and it will be someday.

5. If you are in or have been in an open sexual relationship, what are the best bits?

Sadly, I’m not in one, but I wish I was or have been, so I can’t really answer that. I would guess that maybe it’s a sense of freedom.

Bonus: Describe what your ideal intimate and/or sexual relationship would look like today.

No marriage. Children because I choose to have them, not because I felt I needed to have them. Children who would select their own first and last names and not be saddled with the names parents gave them. Living alone, even if I was a member of a polyamory relationship, and also have an open marriage as well.

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