TMI Tuesday: December 8, 2020: Sexual Feelings

1. Are women natural seducers or are men?

Men tend to be more aggressive, but women are taught to be seductive in the way we dress and act. Just pretend you don’t like it.

2. Which of the following statements most closely matches your sexual attitude?

a. Sex is best when you focus on your own pleasure.
b. Sex is best when I can totally meld with my partner and feel as one.
c. Sex is best when the purpose is that of conceiving a child.
d. Sex is just a behavior; don’t put too much importance on the act, just do it the way you like and need.

Actually, none of the above, as I tend to agree and disagree with them all. Sex is more than a behavior, it’s also an attitude. I think when you focus on your own pleasure, something most men have been taught to do, you both lose. I also think it’s hard to “meld” with your partner. I think it’s better where one person gets the pleasure first and then the other. And it’s sad if people believe that sex is only for procreation.

3. Do you need to feel emotionally connected to enjoy sex with another person?

It depends on the people involved. I can enjoy sex without being emotionally connected to my partner. Sometimes just enjoying sex for the sex is great. I can also be emotionally connected to someone without having sex.

4. Are you allowed to be sexual? Explain.

I am now. But for most of my life, I never felt like I could. Between the attitudes of my parents, and the teachings of society and church, women were just a vessel to carry a child, and sex was only required to get that child. According to the church, sex was dirty and women were not supposed to enjoy it, just endure the process; only men were entitled to enjoy it. My mother hated it and that was the message she gave me. I felt such guilt at enjoying it, what little I did enjoy. I craved it but always felt disappointed about how little I got from it. Where was that explosive orgasm I always heard about? I was 60 before I found out.

5. Agree or Disagree. Sex without love is meaningless.


Bonus: Conventional wisdom (but not research) says that women value monogamy more than men. Is this true for you?

No, it’s not true for me at all. I think we place way more value on marriage and monogamy than we should. I got married in the 70s because that was what you did then. People got married out of expectation and obligation for a variety of reasons, pressure from society, church, and/or parents. Some got married to have children or some because they were pregnant. None of those are good reasons to go into a marriage. These days, there were way too many people, especially women, who get married just to have a big blow out wedding. Definitely not a good reason. The only really good reason to get married is when both parties really want to be married and marriage can take so many forms, if for the right reasons.

3 thoughts on “TMI Tuesday: December 8, 2020: Sexual Feelings

  1. These days, there were way too many people, especially women, who get married just to have a big blow out wedding.
    How very true, and sad. The amount of expense and resources that goes into that one day is ridiculous.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have a niece who is now 40 and has never been married but feels like she is missing something, mostly all of the attention a bride gets that she feels she isn’t getting. She was willing to marry a big loser just to have her “day” and the wedding of her dreams, not once, not twice, but three times. She has three beautiful children and is herself, drop-dead gorgeous., but some people just never appreciate what they have. They just want more.


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